Borderline Personality Disorder makes moving on after divorce all but impossible

Borderline Personality Disorder makes moving on after divorce all but impossible

Irvine Child Support LawyerThe system’s prevailing notion in the termination of marriage is that both sides are equally at fault. This is debilitating, infuriating and magnifies the already intense suffering of going through divorce. An otherwise put-together person will become as crazy as they’ll every be while going through divorce, and this while dealing with a spouse who plays somewhat fair. When dealing with a personality disordered spouse, the suffering greatly intensifies.

It is vitally necessary for judges and domestic/family lawyers, or trial lawyers, to have a clear understanding of what personality disorders entail. There are relationships that fail when both sides did their best but couldn’t succeed; or they fail because the partners just weren’t right for each other. And then, there are those that were never right from the beginning because one member was not who he/she seemed to be.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may be characterized by wide mood swings‚ intense anger even at benign events‚ idealization (such as of their spouse — or attorney) followed by devaluation (such as of their spouse — or attorney).

Unfortunately, divorcing a Borderline is everything you hate most in life: delays; disruptions of your business routine and personal regimens; dramas bordering on bad theater; impossible, inflexible people; inconsistent demands and confusing signals; serial hurry-up-and-waits; every specie of verbal and behavioral deceit ever conceived by the human mind; physical, emotional, financial, social and psychological abuse; total chaos. All of this in a judicial setting designed to enable the Borderline to amplify and exploit both human and institutional weaknesses.

It’s like swimming out into the ocean from the beach and then turning around to swim back to shore only to find nothing but water as far as the eye can see. No landmarks. No people. No boats. No help. Nothing but water to the horizons in all directions.

In family law court, the very qualities that make you successful in business will prove to be your downfall in your Borderline divorce. You were trained to take charge and to adopt a “can do” attitude. You want non-issues resolved yesterday. You have no patience for people who have nothing better to do than to waste your time and money. But in a Borderline divorce, you can rest assured nothing will happen when you want or need it to happen. People who have far more issues than you will judge your life while lying to you, while engaging in passive/aggressive behavior, while paying lip service to the “best interests of the child”, and while employing “secrets” and codes of silence. They will not let you see the man behind the curtain, but they act like they expect you to know what the Great Oz is doing.

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Single moms are five times more likely to be poor than married moms

Poverty and Single Moms

Few institutions in America have evolved over the last 50 years quite like motherhood. More women are having their children later in life. Or they’re doing so in less traditional ways: before marriage, without marriage, or with unmarried partners. Single motherhood has grown so common in America that demographers now believe half of all children will live with a single mom at some point before the age of 18.

The implications of this seismic shift in family structure are broad and deeply debated. Research suggests that children with two parents fare better in many ways — in school, in their own relationships — than children with only one at home. And those implications are unevenly distributed in society: A black child today is much more likely to be born to a single mom than a white child, or the child of a mom with a college degree according to this study.Was Moynihan Right?

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THE EVIL SPIRIT JUMPED OUT OF ME AND INTO MY EX WIFE

MEXICAN ARTIFACTS CIRCA 2016Trump Cup Ensenda Baja California

JULY 19, 2016.  The evil spirit jumped from me and into my ex wife! said the man to me while we sat side by side drinking beer at a Mexican bar in Ensenada, Baja California.

You see, the man said, I love chicas and I had an evil spirit inside of me.

– I swigged my bottle of Tecate lite, and encouraged him. He knew I was a divorce lawyer. We were safe in this bar: no terroists would blow up this place; the Ensenada cops don’t shoot you if you bribe them with 2 twenty dollar bills; and the cops here don’t get shot.

He told me his story: I loved my wife and I betrayed her time and time again. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was evil, I knew justice was waiting. I did evil.  It was unforgivable.  I demolished her. She demolished me. I apologized.

– I looked up at the list of food on the plaster wall behind the bar, I raised my eyebrows at the bartender, he lifted his head and made eye contact, “Dos tacos de pescado,” I ordered 2 fish tacos. The nice bartender smiled.

The man continued: The moment my ex wife discovered my secret life, the evil spirit of betrayal inside me, leaped out of me, and my ex wife sucked it deep into her soul, she embraced it, nurtured it and used it to demolish me and herself.

– With a flat smile, I nodded that I understand, I have compassion for you.

The evil spirt now inside her, made her furious at me and at herself said the man.  She felt entitled to revenge at all costs. With the help of others, my ex wife put her head down, her butt up, and charged at me like a bull hell bent on stabbing the bullfighter.  I stepped out of the way and in front of our son, but she still pierced my heart, and Bam! into the brick wall behind me.  Our son was safe!  The brick wall fell on everyone watching; hurting many and teaching all.

– I ate my fish tacos, put a cigarette in my mouth, the helpful bartender snapped open his metal lighter, a blue flame sprung up, I smelled kerosene.  He lit up my cig, just like America in the black and white 1950’s, when everyone smoked indoors.

My ex wife wanted it to be over, so did I, but the damage I caused plus the damage she caused, would take years to heal. The same amount of energy used to demolish each other, was required to recover.  Only now, we had no “evil spirit” to energize us.

– I sprinkled salt on the back of my hand, licked it up, sipped my lime-spiked beer and took a puff on my cigarette; I was in heaven. My face lit up and my expression conveyed to the man: Sir, I know your family will recover.

You think my ex wife and I will accept a good spirit to provide energy to rebuild the damage caused by the evil spirt?

I said, “yes the good spirit is inside both of you now and has already began”.

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31% of children living in single-parent households were living below the poverty line

Single Parents and Poverty

The dramatic changes that have taken place in family living arrangements have no doubt contributed to the growing share of children living at the economic margins. In 2014, 62% of children younger than 18 lived in a household with two married parents – a historic low, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of data from the U.S. Census Bureau. The share of U.S. kids living with only one parent stood at 26% in 2014. And the share in households with two parents who are living together but not married (7%) has risen steadily in recent years.1

These patterns differ sharply across racial and ethnic groups. Large majorities of white (72%) and Asian-American (82%) children are living with two married parents, as are 55% of Hispanic children. By contrast only 31% of black children are living with two married parents, while more than half (54%) are living in a single-parent household.

The economic outcomes for these different types of families vary dramatically. In 2014, 31% of children living in single-parent households were living below the poverty line, as were 21% of children living with two cohabiting parents.2 By contrast, only one-in-ten children living with two married parents were in this circumstance. In fact, more than half (57%) of those living with married parents were in households with incomes at least 200% above the poverty line, compared with just 21% of those living in single-parent households according to Pew .

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THE EVIL SPIRIT JUMPED OUT OF ME AND INTO MY EX WIFE

MEXICAN ARTIFACTS CIRCA 2016Trump Cup Ensenda Baja California

JULY 19, 2016.  The evil spirit jumped from me and into my ex wife! said the man to me while we sat side by side drinking beer at a Mexican bar in Ensenada, Baja California.

You see, the man said, I love chicas and I had an evil spirit inside of me.

– I swigged my bottle of Tecate lite, and encouraged him. He knew I was a divorce lawyer. We were safe in this bar: no terroists would blow up this place; the Ensenada cops don’t shoot you if you bribe them with 2 twenty dollar bills; and the cops here don’t get shot.

He told me his story: I loved my wife and I betrayed her time and time again. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was evil, I knew justice was waiting. I did evil.  It was unforgivable.  I demolished her. She demolished me. I apologized.

– I looked up at the list of food on the plaster wall behind the bar, I raised my eyebrows at the bartender, he lifted his head and made eye contact, “Dos tacos de pescado,” I ordered 2 fish tacos. The nice bartender smiled.

The man continued: The moment my ex wife discovered my secret life, the evil spirit of betrayal inside me, leaped out of me, and my ex wife sucked it deep into her soul, she embraced it, nurtured it and used it to demolish me and herself.

– With a flat smile, I nodded that I understand, I have compassion for you.

The evil spirt now inside her, made her furious at me and at herself said the man.  She felt entitled to revenge at all costs. With the help of others, my ex wife put her head down, her butt up, and charged at me like a bull hell bent on stabbing the bullfighter.  I stepped out of the way and in front of our son, but she still pierced my heart, and Bam! into the brick wall behind me.  Our son was safe!  The brick wall fell on everyone watching; hurting many and teaching all.

– I ate my fish tacos, put a cigarette in my mouth, the helpful bartender snapped open his metal lighter, a blue flame sprung up, I smelled kerosene.  He lit up my cig, just like America in the black and white 1950’s, when everyone smoked indoors.

My ex wife wanted it to be over, so did I, but the damage I caused plus the damage she caused, would take years to heal. The same amount of energy used to demolish each other, was required to recover.  Only now, we had no “evil spirit” to energize us.

– I sprinkled salt on the back of my hand, licked it up, sipped my lime-spiked beer and took a puff on my cigarette; I was in heaven. My face lit up and my expression conveyed to the man: Sir, I know your family will recover.

You think my ex wife and I will accept a good spirit to provide energy to rebuild the damage caused by the evil spirt?

I said, “yes the good spirit is inside both of you now and has already began”.

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Men’s nutition worsens after divorce

Nutrition

Ending a marriage may lead to a deterioration in men’s diets that could have clinical significance, while women’s diets don’t change significantly, according to a study in Social Science & Medicine.

Previous studies have focused on how marriage affects people’s diet, but less is known about how changes in marital status affect what they eat, the study said. It looked at marriages that ended because of divorce, separation or being widowed.

Researchers assessed the health of participants’ diets by the amount and variety of fruits and vegetables consumed. Reduced consumption of fresh produce has been linked to greater risk for cardiovascular disease and cancer, while diets of limited variety are associated with Type 2 diabetes and some cancers, they said.

Compared with men who stayed married, those whose marriage ended reduced by about 25 percent their daily consumption of fruits and vegetables over the course of the study. Their diets also became less varied. Changes in all the women’s diets weren’t statistically significant.

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