President Barack Obama will announce today during his visit to Las Vegas a new foreclosure rescue program, pumping $1.5 billion into Nevada and other hard-hit states to help large banks remain solvent reports the Las Vegas Sun in an article here.
A TIGER WOODS’ STYLE APOLOGY TO VEGAS
When asked by one local Vegas reporter about Tiger Wood’s apology, Obama joked, “I think we should take out a nine iron and smash the window out of big government. Vegas gambled and lost and that’s not my fault.”
The program is designed to address FDIC fears that more underwater homeowners will stop making their mortgage payments causing banks to get stuck in the rough. “We are asking that underwater homeowners pay the banks for a few more months before they default, because its the right thing to do”, pleads Obama, “we understand that the Vegas people need money, but so do the big banks.”
OBAMA GIVES VEGAS A MULLIGAN
“We think we got a hole in one, this time around. If anything, the program will give Vegas’ homeowners hope before they inevitably go into default and lose everything,” opined the President.
Homelessness in Las Vegas is straining shelters this winter as the economy founders and joblessness hovers at 13%, a “perfect storm of foreclosures, unemployment and a shortage of affordable housing,” jokes one White House staffer.